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Let’s face it; they make car washes for people on acid

Found a large mass on my left ovary on an ultrasound this week and all I can keep saying is “it’s not a tumor” in m… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

You and I are sliding doors.

Gosh I can’t stand starfuckers

One time my girlfriend broke up with a dude because he would not bring her a fish sandwich and a yogurt parfait and… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…